Friday 6 February 2009

Clarkson Calls PM Brown a ‘One-Eyed Twat’

Jeremy “me and my big gob” Clarkson puts his size 12 foot in it yet again.
Speaking to journalists in Sydney, the Top Gear petrol-head motoring presenter reportedly called the British prime minister a "one-eyed Scottish clunt".

Scottish politicians have reacted angrily to the comments made by Clarkson about their icon Gordon Brown.
Hector McPillock, Labour MP for the Highland’s Cuntsborough East constituency, said the remark was ‘typical and what we now expect from a BBC presenter’.
"Most people here are proud that the prime minister is a Scot, even if he wasn’t elected and we don’t believe the economic crisis and recession are actually his fault."

But Clarkson, who is in Australia to host Top Gear Live, a stage version of the hit BBC show, simply lacks the cerebral facility of engaging brain before opening mouth, and this is just the latest pathetic faux pas in a long line of pathetic faux pas.

The controversial presenter compared Mr Brown to Australian Prime Minister Kevin Crudd, shortly after Mr Crudd had addressed the country on the severity of the global financial crisis.
According to the ‘Gidday Mate’ Australian newspaper, Clarkson is quoted as saying : "Crudd genuinely looked terrified. The poor man, he's actually seen the books. In the UK we've got this one-eyed Scottish twat Gordon Brown as our unelected prime minister.”
"He keeps telling us everything's fine and he's saved the world and we all know he's lying through his rotting Caledonian teeth."

The comments provoked anger north of the border, with punchy Scots sending threatening texts and e-mail messages to Clarkson saying “See you Jimmy”, a Scottish euphemism for a wish to kick his Brillo pad head in for him.

But this is not the first occasion Gordon Brown’s eyesight limitations have attracted unsavoury remarks.
When New Labour came to power in 1997 it was commented by Tory snides that with Brown and Blunkett being included in Tony Bliar’s cabinet it would be an instance of the blind leading the sighted.
(Mr. Brown lost the sight of one eye in adolescence due suffering a chronic case of Wanker’s Glaucoma)

But Clarkson’s verbal diahorrea / terminal lip-flap ego-driven personality has established a Guinness record for gaffes and clangers.
In May of 2008 he told an audience that he had topped 186 mph while driving a Bugatti Veyron in London and pompously stated “The speed limit’s annoying for people who have a job to do.”

In November 2008 more than 18 million people complained to the BBC after Clarkson made a joke on Top Gear about lorry drivers killing sex workers.
The joke followed the conviction of French forklift truck driver Jacques de Ripper for the murders of five prostitutes in Cuntwich.

Further faux pas have included drinking while driving as he and his team tried to reach the Magnetic North Pole last year, and being photographed speaking on a cellphone while driving,

So a busy week for the BBC’s censorship department.
Finally recovering from the onslaught of viewer outrage concerning Ross and Brand’s taunting of Fawlty Towers’ Spanish waiter icon Manuel with tasteless comments about bonking his grand-daughter, they currently have Carol Thatcher’s brainless ‘Golliwog’ lip-slip comments to deal with.

To add to their woes BBC One’s Breakfast show has just aired an unedited tape of Batman star Christian Bale berating a colleague for ruining a shot on the set of the new Terminator ‘Salvation’ movie. The actor's outburst includes the use of the F-word (fuck) 35 times in just over four minutes.

Now they must consider if it is just and equitable to retain Clarkson for his stand-up idiot presenter value or have his vocal cords removed and lips stitched up to prevent future offences.

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