Friday 21 January 2011

Baroness Bonkers Disses Table Talk

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

During a speech at the University of Smegmadale yesterday, and a display of political correctness gone mad, the Yorkshire-born Baroness Bonkers Warthog, Chairslut of the Tory Party, announced for the public record that certain time-honoured British prandial protocols are being ignored, and since 9/11 slagging off Muslims and generally dissing Islam is part and parcel of acceptable dinner table discourse.

Warthog, of Pakistani descent, is viewed by many worshippers of Allah as a shifty Muslim of convenience and was pelted with hard boiled haram duck eggs while on a Dacoit Day political brownie points-scoring mooch-about in the Jolly Jihad terrorist recruitment centre of Luton in November 2009 for her support of the US-led wars of aggression against Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In her speech to the University’s ‘Dactylogy Society’ Baroness Warthog warned that prejudice towards Muslims had passed the dining table test and become a social norm – especially so when roast pork topped the carvery menu.

Her remarks were no doubt designed to stir up a whole heap of racial and sectarian rhetorical bullshit concerning tolerance and mutual respect within a multicultural society – yet totally ignored the fact that Muslims hate our hard-won Democratic freedoms, call us ‘Infidels’, and claim our American cousins represent the ‘Great Satan’.

So, what is Mrs Warthog out to achieve – enacting legislation that bans anyone expressing a negative opinion towards a religion that is still in the Middle Ages (1432) and totally foreign to a British culture that thrives on bacon butties? Especially so the subservient act of kneeling down and banging your head on the floor repeatedly five time per day being deemed by common sense Anglo-Saxons as ‘effin’ barmy’.
So too the brutal Sharia Laws that sanction stoning to death for adultery or the chopping off of a hand for petty theft – penalties all too common around Muslim nations – especially so the barbarian-dominated Third World dystopic shithole of Saudi Arabia.

Or is Warthog simply out to enact only a partial ban – with anti-Muslim sentiments towards the three million worshippers of Islam residing in the UK still permissible under the inalienable rights of free speech and calling a spade “a spade” - in pubs and on street corners – yet enforceable over the dinner table?

The British have several established and traditionally ‘verboten’ dinner table taboos - such as “Don’t mention the war!” if there are Germans round for supper – or farting (especially SBD’s or even a rasping, smelly crowd-disperser if being served Brussels sprouts); plus nose-picking; arse or crotch scratching; or discussing who one saw going into the local clap clinic the other day - with the Chinese habit of hawking and gobbing while at the table being a definite no-no.

Thoughts for the day: Is your dinner table chat guided by the restraints of political correctness when you have a few Muslim jihadists or gollies or pikeys or poofters round for a nosh-up?
Would you opine to your local Rabbi over dessert that the entire Nazi Holohoax legend is a fabricated sympathy-seeking scam to promote and justify the Palestine land grab?
If the neighbouring Muezzin is howling out his adhan and the final salat (prayer call) of the day from the top of his minaret while you’re having supper, do you stick your head out of the door and shout “Hey, shut the fuck up Abdul!”?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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