Wednesday 9 March 2011

When Did US Need UN Nod Before?

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a hypocritical volte-face from traditional policy, when the UN wave the Naughty Book in the air and say “Don’t!” in a loud, admonishing voice, and the United States (and Bliar-led UK) do precisely the opposite, the US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, yesterday informed hacks from the gutter press that any decision to impose a no-fly zone over Libya should be made by the UN Security Council and not by Washington’s war-mongering military-industrial cartel puppets.

The duplicitous Clinton rambled on, claiming it was important to President Barky O’Barmy that such a request came from his ‘African brothers’ - the oppressed Libyan people - personally rather than being a US-instigated neo-colonial invasion - as per the Afghanistan 2001 and Iraq 2003 belligerent blitzkriegs that earned them international condemnation as out-of-control neo-colonial bullies.

Calls from behind the scenes - behind the black curtains obscuring the Kuromaku puppet masters – the Western oil companies and the Zionist-dominated US military-industrial cartels - for Washington and London to instigate military intervention on ‘humanitarian grounds’ (sic) to invade and seize control of the country’s natural resources (proven reserves of 44 billion barrels of sweet crude) are growing as pro-Gaddafi forces bombard areas held by Libyan rebels and look to be in with a chance of winning any protracted civil war.

Meanwhile, the eccentric cum slightly bonkers Col Gaddafi has made a defiant speech on Libyan TV, labelling rebels and opposition leaders as brainwashed al-Qaeda agents – which raised a raucous response from the non-existent audience on the studio’s ‘Clapometer’.

Conversely, the rebel forces fighting to end Col Gaddafi's 40-odd years in power received a boost to their morale over the weekend when a bunch of goat herders armed with AK 47s confronted an infiltration team of British MI6 agents and 22nd SAS Regiment troopers and captured the whole shebang.
This has since prompted one rebel leader in Benghazi to comment in an interview with the Warmongers Gazette that “If we can take on and beat the best-trained and deadliest special forces troops on the planet then Gaddafi’s got no chance against us.”

Following the failure of the British military team to complete Operation Fubar and deliver a personal memo from PM Posh Dave Scameron to a favoured Libyan rebel leader in Benghazi over the weekend, he and US President Barky O’Barmy are now considering re-sending the note via Fed-Ex or DHL – to gain actual ‘official rebel permission’ to send in their aircraft and bomb the fuck out of the place – and create so many pot holes across the country’s air fields and landing strips that even a shite hawk or vulture will have problems taking off.

Back in the UK the preposterous Scameron told the BBC: "Seeing Gaddafi hasn’t got any weapons of mass distraction that he could launch at us in 45 minutes, we have got to prepare for what we might have to do if he goes on brutalising his own people like the rulers of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman and Yemen are doing.”

While the greedy, grasping corporate and financial kikester powers behind the thrones of the US, UK and France are working on concocting a UN Security Council resolution for a no-fly zone, Russia, who have no chance of profiting from any invasion of Libya, have already thrown a large spanner into the works and stated their opposition to military intervention – opting for the tried and tested diplomatic formula of letting both sides get on with it and the winner being the last man standing – as per the genocidal barmy Balkans conflict of the 1990’s.

US Senator John McCain, speaking for the Republican Geriatrics Party, told the Scandalmongers Review "Every day and every hour that goes by, innocent Libyans are being attacked and massacred from the air and are pleading with us to enact a no-fly zone."

Er, sorry John-Boy, wrong again. Watch the fucking news footage from the rebel-controlled areas of Libya – big banners stating for those intellectually-challenged Western political meddlers inclined to keep their military-industrial paymasters in work: “Yankees Piss Off – We Don’t Need Your Help!”

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Freemasonic ZioNazis and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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