Pensions of Redundant Squaddies Axed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Broken Britain’s Defence Minister, Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond, the incumbent Tory MP for Runnynose, is copping a well-deserved ‘incoming’ hail of flack from multiple fronts following the Army’s axing of 3,000 hapless squaddies – now consigned to that distasteful landfill site of human endeavours – the Jobcentre – to provide companionship for the millions already scratting around in search of non-existent work placements now filled by EUSSR immigrants willing to prostitute their basic unskilled labour for less than minimum wage.

A bone of contention generating waves of further resentment and criticism centres on the fact that a majority of the soldiers chucked onto the redundancy scrapheap were sacked mere days before they qualified for a full pension, raising suspicions they were selectively targeted for the chop to save money under the Libservative’s draconian austerity campaign – which has noticeably not negatively affected the £65,00 quid salaries of the 650 MPs whiling their time away in the House of Conmans with a spot of creative accounting on their respective expense claim forms – when not busy cat-calling and back-stabbing each other.

So, do we need to be reminded of what the Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron swore on a mixed stack of Bibles, Korans and Torahs in May, 2010, before a Magistrate, two Bishops, a Cardinal and a Rabbi, about restoring the covenant between the military and the public?
This elitist smarmy scumbag has long since pawned his moral franchise and whatever credibility he ever possessed, and is beneath contempt – and no longer qualifies for a slot in the classification index of Linnaean taxonomy.

Bazzer Mc Scrote, a 40-year-old sergeant serving in the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment was to retire and be demobbed following 22 years of service and qualified for a pension pot that would be the envy of any City bankster – yet thanks to the Scameron-Clegg led Ripoffs Coalition will now have to wait until he is 65 to receive any payout.

McScrote, speaking to a gutter press hack from the red top Warmongers Gazette tabloid, explained “So much for the ethos of the Army Brotherhood an’ effin’ fellowship when yer get shit on from a dizzy height by these twats in government. Wot effin’ chance have yer got of getting’ a job in civvy street when the only skill yer woz ever taught woz ter kill people – an’ all the placements fer the Olympic Games security wiv Renta-Thug have gone already.”

“Really, just go down ter any of yer local Greedy Grocer outlets an’ see if they’ve got a vacancy fer a sniper an’ you’ll get short shrift. They just hand yer an application form wot’s printed in Cyrillic cos that’s all they employ now – carp-poachin’ pikeys wot’s the dregs of the EUSSR’s food chain.”

Until this scandalous travesty manifested its ugly head last week, the Armed Forces pension scheme ‘was’ regarded as one of the more generous in the public sector (due the higher mortality rating factor) with personnel awarded up to 40% of their final salary on the conclusion of life-threatening operational tours with the 14th Body Bag Brigade and the Queen’s Own Royal Barbarians in the illegal invasions and occupations of Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.