Thursday 29 November 2012

Tories Push School Porno Curriculum

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If it wasn’t bad enough having a total dog wanker like Pob Gove as our blighted nation’s Education Secretary, we’ve now got one of his underling mini-ministers, Elizabeth Mary Truss, the dipshit MP for East-West Norfolk, taking a break from her blonde moment adultery lapses to suggest that elementary schools start teaching pupils the ‘dangers’ (sic) of watching porno movies on the internet – by actually including online graphic pornography in their sex education curriculums.
Nothing too hard core – perhaps a sampling of porn baron Richard ‘Dirty Des’ Desmond’s ‘Red Hot’ services menu – ‘Sex Mad Skangers’ or ‘Cum-Sucking Asian Sluts’.

The fact Dizzy Lizzie seems to be personally possessed with the morals of a wanton harpy on heat doesn’t equate that parents wish their children exposed to salacious displays of three-hole BD/SM sex when classroom time would be better spent improving their grasp of the ‘three R’s’ (and no – not Raped, Ravished and Rooted).

However Truss, yet another Common Purpose NLP-brainwashed zombie with the IQ of a potted plant, is adamant in her unqualified arrogant opinion that schools should commence providing internet porno’ viewing lessons as part of their Personal, Social, Health and Economic classes – even if such might traumatise both sexes
and elicit negative responses concerning self-esteem if they’re viewing stellar examples of naked male and female physiques – then question why their boobs or penis are so inadequate in proportion compared to Randy Rita’s tits – or Dick the Dirty Dogger’s dork.

Conversely, such viewings could well serve an opposite purpose and alert them to the fact that even in the midst of his continuing depression there’s a fortune to be made if anyone fancies a career flogging their golly – or in the case of the gay male members of the class – their arses – by appearing in paedo’ movies with members of the Tory Cabinet – or uploading kiddie sex pix for masturbation fantasy perusal and purchase by some New Labour PM’s personal Parliamentary assistant.

Ms Fellattia Titwank, director of Childline, informed a press hack from the Kiddie Fiddlers Gazette that they’d experienced a veritable surge in calls from youngsters traumatised after seeing adult images online.
“Okay, a cadre of nutty progressives in our Libservative Coalition government wants all young people to have top quality, age appropriate sex education, so if one of the BBC’s celebrity DJs – or a randy Tory cabinet minister - gives them a cuddle or a quick grope, they know what’s going on and can demand “Promise you won’t come in my mouth” – or “You’re not shoving that up my ass without a condom on!”

“But a recent alarming study has revealed children as young as 6 are becoming addicted to internet pornography, and specifically BD/SM, giving them unrealistic expectations concerning sex – such as ‘must the female partner always be tied up and spanked before being subjected to a lesbian clusterfuck with strapon dildos?’.”

“Now we have Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron jumping on the bandwagon and claiming he’s ready to take action to curb online porn, and anyone buying a computer or signing up with an internet service provider will be asked whether they have children when they log on for the first time.”

“Yeah, nice one Dave, but online access besides – back in the real ‘touchy-feelie’ world how the fuck do you block access to your kids and keep pervs and paedo scumbags like Jimmy Savile, Cyril Smith, Sir Peter Morrison and MacAlpen’s Fusiliers from molesting your sprogs?”
“Most parents would far rather the government introduce legislation that not only ostracises male paedophiles from polite society by exiling them to some deserted Pacific island – or the frozen wastes of Antarctica where they can only prey on penguins - but has them emasculated and their foreheads branded with the words ‘Child Molester’.”

“I’m the first to agree that sex education and the youth of today’s awareness of matters carnal have gone well past the old birds and the bees stage – and it’s a good thing for children to learn that porn does not mirror real-life sex – unless of course you’re a porn’ star – then conversely we have the instance of a 9-year-old boy and his two classmates who gang raped his teenage babysitter after she teased them with hard-core pornography clips on her BlackBerry.”

‘If we want children to view sexual intimacy as something valuable, special and worthy of respect, then it’s my humble opinion to first introduce them via the route of voyeurism the same as my parents did with me - and let them go off and spy through the neighbour’s windows to see if they’re having a table-ender or a Lambtex.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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