Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In typical gobshite Third World politician fashion, Afghan President Hamid ‘Kami-Karzai’ has yet again followed the path of gross imprudence and chosen to open mouth before engaging brain – thus inadvertently adding his name to Barky Obama’s Presidential Kill List by demanding that the Great Satan’s Pentagon warmongers withdraw their special forces psychopaths from the Bellend and Fubar opium poppy growing provinces immediately – if not sooner.
Speaking with a press hack from the Graft & Corruption Gazette, presidential spokesman Aimal Faizi related that “The Boss has ordered the withdrawal of US Special Forces from the two provinces for fuelling instability and diverting the opium crop produce for their own ends.”
“Our heroin processing plants are on stand-by with this US military contingent side-tracking normal marketing and supply channels and simply seizing shipments of raw opium for the CIA – leaving us with faithful addicts biting their finger ends to the quick, waiting for their next fix – to say nothing of the interruption to our private revenue income.”
“Our secretaries at the Ministry for Narcotics are getting bogged down with calls from the Afghan embassies around the globe – wanting to know where their monthly diplomatic bag deliveries of refined heroin are – plus we have dealers all across Europe - and Yardie gangs in London - waiting on their regular Fed-Ex parcels of uncut H.”
"That is why at yesterday’s National Security Council meeting President Karzai ordered General Wingnut Jaffacake at the Ministry of Defence to kick out the US Special Forces from these two provinces – and if they refuse to go then start an all-out green-on-blue campaign until they get the message.”
Karzai’s drastic ‘fuck off, eat shit and die’ ultimatum to the ISAF command conspicuously follows in the wake of an announcement by the lard-arsed US Secretary of Defence, Leon Vendetta, who unveiled a proposal during a NATO meeting in Brussels last week that US and European forces remain in Afghanistan permanently.
Conversely, US General Joseph F. Dumfuck Jr., commander of the embedded ISAF and USFOR-A military contingents, informed war correspondents from the Blood n Guts Review that he personally was unaware of Karzai’s demands – and the accusations that Special Forces troops were responsible for the pilferage of raw opium to finance the CIA’s dirty deeds / black op’s division would be investigated.
“Meanwhile this Karzai guy needs to watch his mouth with these threats – otherwise it might just be a case of ‘blue on green’ attacks if they decide to get Bolshie with our boys.”
Thought for the day. There’s 100,000 NATO - ISAF / USFOR-A foreign occupation troops in-country - under the pretext of fighting the Taliban and al-Qa’eda militants - and they’re no closer to a military or socio-political solution than they were on the day they arrived in 2001.
This contrived US-led conflict to secure a permanent military post on the crossroads of the ‘Stans’ – and too the borders of China and Russia – has been the source of record-high civilian and military casualties, and further become the Great Satan’s longest military conflict since their last long military conflict – specifically the disastrous Vietnam misadventure.
As for Hamid Karzai – there’s only two points of view with the clinically insane militarist government of the US of A – you’re either our friend (lackey / stooge / puppet) or our enemy. Doubtless Karzai now has a MQ-9 Reaper drone’s ARGUS-IS tracking system locked on his hapless arse 24/7.
Regardless, fuck the Great Satan's Edomite Mafia and their New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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