Bodies Galore but NHS Boss Won’t Quit

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Regardless of thousands of hospital patients dying needlessly on his watch as National Ill-Health Service chief executive due presiding over a culture of incompetence - plus a lack of institutional oversight blighting the entire system – in the face of a legion of adverse opinions Sir David ‘Trotsky’ Nicholson has spelled out his determination to carry on mismanaging the NHS as he faced a grilling from MPs over his role in the Staffordshire-based Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Guesswork scandal.

Appearing before the House of Conmans Health Select Committee, Nicholson admitted the NHS was a catastrophic shambles but stated for the public record “Why the fuck should I step down from my £270,000 quid a year position and turn up on the doorstep of some poxy Jobcentre along with the rest of the common herd looking for work in what is basically an unemployment wilderness?”

“You can’t seriously expect me to take the blame for these common herd useless eaters dying? It’s hardly my fault they don’t follow the recommended 5-a-day menu and get sick on a diet of fizzy drinks and crisps.”
“And let’s not overlook the fact that hospitals are like kitchens – you can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs – what the military refer to as ‘acceptable collateral damage’. Besides, a few corpses free up precious ward bed spaces – and keep the pathologist and mortuary attendants busy.”

The Parliamentary report states that primary responsibility for the Staffordshire scandal lay with the board of the hospital, but that the whole system had failed by putting corporate self-interest (greed) ahead of patients by adopting the Department of Health’s policy of implementing the Liverpool Care Pathway (aka the Scouse Murder System) on bed-hogging patients who due some perverse personal quirk enjoyed eating NHS food and wanted to stay an extra few days.

Regardless of a pick and mix bag of some forty MPs signing an early day motion calling for the useless tosser’s resignation, Tory PM ‘Austerity Dave’ Scameron informed press hacks that the inept Nicholson, even though a sworn Commie, was a fellow secret handshake club member and had his complete backing in the role of NHS chief.

Hmmm well, that opinion amounts to fuck all of a recommendation considering Scameron hired hackster Andy Coulson as his spin doctor – and the swathe of other career incompetents and influence-peddling criminal types he invites to Chequers to chillax and go off horse-riding with.

Thought for the day. While the rest of Broken Britain’s demographic are stuck with the NHS and its institutional failings – such as quacks and nurses who can’t speak the Queen’s English – the actual ‘Queen’ - Her Majesty, the Royal Reptile – comes down with a dose of ballistic diarrhoea after eating dodgy lark’s tongues and pate de foie gras on toast soldiers and automatically gets a private room at London’s prestigious ‘By Appointment’ King Edward VII’s Sister Agnes Hospital – all billed to the hapless taxpayer’s piggy bank.

Here she’s cared for on a three to one ‘fetch me, feed me, carry me’ basis by secret handshake club trained nurses – all at her regal beck and call - and after a couple of pints of ritually-sacrificed virgin baby blood is as right as rain – and gets escorted to the door by Matron Superior herself - girdled with a blood-red belt held in place by a most conspicuous silver buckle bearing the Masonic compass and square – and Satan’s demonic pentagram - saying ‘Come again, oh Supreme Lizard – any time you get a dose of the screaming shits’.

Oh yes, talk about THEM and Us – no Liverpool Care Pathway for that 86-year old trout – or her doddering, nonagenarian Greek spouse Prince Stavros of Edinburgh.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.