Monday, 1 June 2015

Royal Outrage viz Spiderwick Chronicles Release

In this morning’s ‘enhanced anti-monarchical propaganda’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following a government veto on publication of Prince Chazzer's 'Spiderwick' letters to government officials was declared unlawful by the Court of Appeal last year, a decision recently upheld by London's Supreme Court Justices, the Daily Shitraker this week carried the banner headline: ROYAL PLANT WHISPERER BREACHES CONSTITUTIONAL PROTOCOLS. CHARLIE BIG EARS EXPOSED AS MEDDLING TWAT

The Supreme Court decision to overrule Prince Dobby's objections to his scandalous 'Spiderprick Chronicles' correspondence to Parliamentarians, civil service mandarins, and specifically cabinet ministers, from being published – in the public interest so the common herd might know what a self-opinionated, meddlesome dingbat their uber-eccentric future King really is – has resulted in a veritable constitutional backlash shitstorm, with Dobby's legal beagles at Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot (Solicitors) now set to lay an appeal against the decision before a sympathetic European Court of Human Rights judge, Lord Justice Wilhelm von Saxe-Coburg-Gotha (no relation) and not only have publication blocked 'In Perpetuam' but the controversial missives destroyed.

After having their greedy palms crossed with silver, Clarence House snitches grassed up their knobhead of a boss to reporters from News Corp's red top Hackers Gazette, revealing Dobby threw a Biblical scale hissy fit and went into foot-stamping monarchical tantrum mode – so typical of his spoiled brat social class – regarding the Supreme Court Justice's decision to uphold the Appeal Court verdict - and issued a declaration of hostilities against every fucker and their dog concerned - specifically Crime Minister Posh Dave Scameron and his Tory Decepticon Party minions.

Conversely, the long knives are out and poised on both sides of this embarrassing fracas, with Prince Chazzer's ex-Clarence House chief equerry, Sir Dilbert Dipshitt, DSO - currently remanded at HMP Kiddie Fiddler awaiting trial on historic child sexual abuse charges of buggering Boy Scouts during a 1990's jamboree at the Prince's Highgrove estate - leaking to gutter press hacks that the now-infamous 'Spiderprick Chronicles' had earned that particular disparaging sobriquet due Dobby's black spider handwriting scrawl – which appears, to all intents and purposes, as though he had been hitting the bottle and writing with a fire iron dipped in wet soot.

Regardless of Dobby's European Court bid, the internet media is chocker with postings of his letters – and streams of damning comments viz their arrogant and opinionated content – with a general common herd consensus that the Prince is a batshit bonkers manipulative deadweight, surplus to requirements, and needs to focus his Greenie tree-hugging eugenic mindset Malthusian rhetoric on his own scrounging parasite scumster social class and 'not' the austerity-stricken Third Estate.

Ron McScally, director of the Anarchy Now activist group, has posted a score-plus of the Prince's 'meddlergramme' missives on their website, with one mortifying communiqué addressed to ex-Shitehall Civil Service top dog mandarin Sir Gus O’Dongel, in which Dobby entreats the recipient to pull a few strings and get the public smoking ban repealed so the Royal Consort, Gorgonzilla Porker-Bowels, the Duchess of Cornhole, could enjoy her legal high Capstan full strength fags when down the pub for happy hour and knocking back pints of Creme de Menthe – reveals that O'Dongel "always looked after my best interests with no expectation of reward – apart from your knighthood and senior civil service sinecure, of course – and I'll never forget the time I was a junior at Gordonstoun and got shoved head-first into the school Buggery Barrel for a second time in a week and you came along and placed that big jar of Vaseline you'd pinched from Matron's stockroom next to my bared buttocks."

The 27 letters on the Anarchy Now website touch on wide ranging subjects, including upping the Sovereign Support Grant ante, the dominance of the Pestco supermarket, the possibility of legalising necrophilia, a posthumous royal pardon for Jimmy Savile, the foxhunting ban, badger buggery and the homeopathy / herbal medicine sector.

Amongst the compromising letters are a strew addressed to the Civil Service and Cabinet Ministerial level likes of Sir Winthrop Gallstone; Sir Buffy Brown-Hatter, Tory MP for Old Fudgers; Sir Huge Montmorency Knatchbollocks-Huffenstuff; Sir Dinsdale Figg-Newton; Sir Aldous Wisbeech-Kettledrum; Sir Brandon Ffitch-Dorkpuller; Chief Moel & Rabbi Shylock Snipcock; London Mayor, Bonkers Boris Nonsense - with the salutation of 'Dear Kamal Ali Bojo'; and not to overlook memos to the Crown's / officialdom's chief 'assissted suicide' coverup artist - Coroner Paul Knapman; nor his Masonic (Brotherhood of the Serpent) secret handshake club pal BBC Trust Chairman, Baron Chris Patten of Barndoor, requesting that the State propaganda machine ... "refrain from media speculation that Chazzer had been bonking Bald Willy and Harry Hewitt's ex-nanny, Ms Tiggy Legg-Oveur – and stamp out all this gossip about Diana cuckolding me with the hired help and young Harry being a ginger mingin royal cuckoo."

The letter continues "...and that in itself is bad enough without inferences that Stavros and I conspired to have the People's Princess Diana murdered after she got up the duff while shagging that al Fayed Muslim costermonger's lad."

One memo to Cabinet Secretary, Sir Jarvis Jockstrapp, holds the EUSSR political correctness culture to ridicule as bunkum, and questions how "one is meant to refer to these darkie velcro-head johnnies - as 'blacks' or negroes' - or 'coloured'? For when I was at school the point was impressed that neither black or white were classed as colours as they don't occur in a rainbow."

A veritable trove of letters and complaints were addressed to Chazzer's local Highgrove / Gloucestershire MP, Tory jobsworth Geoffrey Clifton-Brownhatter, with one threatening to shift his political affiliations to the Green Party, pledging his support if they agreed to put a tax on firewood.

Thought for the day. Hmmm, we all pen letters of complaint to cabinet ministers – which they automatically shitcan – whereas Old Big Ear's missives get special attention, actually read and cop a 'Yes Sir / No Sir' reply / answered.
Thus we don't need a talent for predictive analytics capabilities to perceive the fact that Dobby's simply a meddlesome, influence-peddling tosser given to abusing his 'divine right' position of privilege – which seems to be the way with this class of blue blood reptilian parasites and their exaggerated sense of entitlement.
To wit, this posturing clown fails to respect our revered 'trias politica' principle - the Montesquieu separation of powers - legislature, executive, and judiciary – for what the fuck that is worth when our once-sceptred isle is run by a cabal of kiddie fiddling secret handshake Freemasons whose only allegiance is to Mammon and Satan.

So bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and get people using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'harm's way' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.
No longer accepting and believing what the gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in politically correct format.

Thus fuck His Royal Dobbyness and the rest of the shape-shifting Windsor Kraut scum family – and the entire Satanist Masonic secret handshake pederast-necrophiliac fraternity, and Big Brother – and his Common Purpose sister – and the profit-motivated / money-grubbing Moloch / Mammon worshipping Agenda 21 architects of the Rothshite ZioNazi New World Order Globalisers - the Round Table dog wankers, and their Council on Foreign relations and Trilateral Commission pondscum pals who comprise the elitist ranks of the annual Dildoberger cabal get-together.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.