Sunday, 2 July 2017

Gentrification Rules: Grenfell Tower Torched?

In this weekend’s ‘Something Stinks in Kensington’ exposé edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from our ex-Boko Haram frontline cross-dressing media correspondent, Des O'Dinga, manning the live news smart phone hotline as he sorts through the ashes of Grenfell Tower – (on the lookout for evidence of dirty deeds done dirt cheap by Kensington and Chelsea council's gentrification committee) – for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Before we start leaving flowers and soft, cuddly toys, or offering condolences, a spare bed - or soup in a basket - to the survivors of this avoidable 'waiting to happen' pyrotechnic disaster we need to get politically incorrect and into a bit of an imputative Q & A session.

For starters, the stock reason being spouted by the media and officialdom is the Grenfell Tower 'fridge fire' started in someone's kitchen – and a refrigerator fire usually occurs at the rear of the fridge with the compressor – rarely inside the cold unit itself, unless some agent provocateur is storing a blend of dodgy, volatile chemicals for use in one of the security service's false flag suicide bombing terrorist attacks.

Okay, so WTF is there to burn with any intensity at the back of a fridge? Not much – in fact nowt that can't be extinguished by unplugging the damn thing from the mains and pissing on the smouldering remains of the compressor and wiring.

But this fridge fire at Grenfell Tower, even after being given two coats of looking at by the local Fire Brigade and extinguished to their professional satisfaction, must have been so intense that the heat migrated through the wall (brickwork / concrete?) and caused the building's outside cladding to go into blazing conflagration mode and incinerate the entire block – including a host of residents.

Inflammable core cladding sandwiched between aluminium sheets besides – it might burn and smoulder away in a half-arsed manner. Perhaps. Cos something stinks in Denmark – and it isn't Hamlet's socks.
There's some whopping porky pies being spouted regarding this social tragedy and one is inclined to speculate that a touch of arson might be involved – unless the actual cheap shit cladding that the crap council opted for to save a few quid was made from white phosphorus and painted over with weathercoat quality napalm.

But from Day One the plot thickens as the Nasty Party's Minister for Coverups, Sir Gilbert Ratt-Pillock, designates Sir Martin Moore-Dickhead as the appointed inquiry sanitizer and guilt absolver – who then opines to gutter press hacks that the purpose of this independent (sic) inquiry is to discover the truth about what happened at Grenfell Tower, so lessons can be learned to avoid similar tragedies in the future – yet most definitely not go as far as resident survivors may demand – and specifically pointing the finger of blame at his Masonic secret handshake club brethren responsible for buying sub-standard fire hazard cladding.

There again, this establishment stooge might be a better choice for a coverup than the Dr David Kelly murder inquiry chair, Lord Bwian Hutton of Whitewash Hall - or illegal Iraq invasion n war inquiry chair, John 'The Sloth' Chilcot - who took longer - 7 years - than the war itself lasted - to decide Tony Bliar wasn't really to blame for the dodgy dossier and lying about non-existent weapons of mass distraction.

To wit, as the shit is about to hit the fan at some opportune moment down the road, let's take a gander at the guilty parties so far marked for tar and feathering – if not manslaughter charges – if the Met Plod Squad live up to their 'no stone unturned' boast a wee bit more efficiently than they did with their Westminster-orientated Operation PaedoScum investigations that resulted in the victims being branded compo-payment seeking liars.

First off for the chop was the sacked / resigned (same thing) chief executive of Kensington and Chelsea council, Tricky Nicky Colgate (paid £193,000-a-year – and is set to receive a six-figure pay-off for being fired) was effectively told to resign by communities secretary, Sajid Javid.
Hmmm, so as this foreseeable calamity might have been avoided if not for cost-cutting Nasty Party austerity measures - and occurred on the Community Minister's watch - when can we expect Jolly Javid's resignation?

Prior to his own cut n run resignation Nicholas Paget-Brownnose admitted there had been a political fall-out following the fire, but said some criticisms need to be challenged with a couple of wholly irrelevant distraction statements.
'We have lost our town clerk, Nick Colgate and I want to thank Dr Barry Quack, chief executive of Lewisham Council for agreeing to act as an interim chief executive and Lewisham Mayor, Sir Stevie Bollocks, for agreeing to lend him to us.'

Anxious to get in on the condemnation act, the Lib-Dum's short-arsed Home Affairs spokesman, Ed Davey, went straight for the jugular of the dog wanker responsible for the fitting of the tower's fire hazard cladding.
'The cabinet member for housing and deputy council leader, Rocky Feilding-Mellen's refusal to be held accountable for serious failures made on his watch is astounding. He should take responsibility and stand down immediately. In fact, if this was Japan he'd commit ritual seppuku – or at least fall on his own sword – or umbrella.'

Up there with the rest of the usual suspects is Robert 'Bobby' Scatt, the chief executive of Kensington & Chelsea Tenant Management Organisation responsible for managing Grenfell Tower - the latest high-profile figure to resign in the wake of the disaster - so he can concentrate on hiding his ill-gotten gains offshore and relocate to Brazil.

Next comes the exposure, naming n shaming of the tosser responsible for the pre-blaze Grenfell Tower fire risk assessment – who conspired with council housing chiefs to hide safety failings at the building.
Fire consultant (sic) Carl Stokes copped a £250,000 paycheque to inspect the high-rise block and then plotted with Kensington and Chelsea Tenant Management Organisation to hide the failings from both residents and London Fire Brigade.

Stokes' advice not to disclose the life-threatening fire risks was backed 100% by housing jobswoths, who were looking to avoid safety improvements which they considered unnecessary – and opting for a cheap arsed cladding face lift – to turn a wart on a pig's arse into a 'cosmetic' beauty spot.

Then the shit really hits the proverbial as Kensington and Chelsea council's first cabinet meeting since the disaster was adjourned after just 20 minutes last Thursday - after the not fit for purpose council was forced by a High Court order to admit the press and public.

Hmmm, a sub rosa council meeting – secrets to hide - no press allowed – somebody have something to hide? That the zinc cladding originally proposed was replaced with a sub standard - less fire resistant - aluminium type, saving nigh on £300,000 quid for the slush fund kitty?

The council cabinet intended to hold the meeting behind closed doors, but a High Court judge ruled members of the press, fire victims and the general public should be allowed to attend.
However the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea cabinet panel - led by Nicholas Paget-Brownhatter – opted to call the meeting off, claiming it was suddenly impossible to have an open discussion as the presence of reporters might prejudice the public inquiry – which was dismissed as 'bullshit' and sparked fresh chaos, crying and shouted accusations of a cover-up - plus calls for the cabinet to resign.

Contracted security guards from the local Renta-Thug Agency then evicted a raging mob of irate press hacks and members of the public from the cabinet chamber before they went totally ballistic and doused council members with the cans of lighter fluid and petrol they'd sneaked into the meeting.

Were the cabinet members shitting kittens that the truth might be spilled – or about pull some arrogant excuse – alike new boy Frogland President, Emmanuel Macron - that their complex collective deliberations on whom to blame for the inferior ' highly combustible' cladding may prove too much for journalists and the common herd demographic to understand – and didn't lend itself to an embarrassing question and answer session?

So, did the cladding work bids go out for tender? Que bono – who profited? Which of these overpaid, golden parachute bureaucraps and jobsworths pocketed the kickbacks from contracting the Cheap Shit Cladding Corp?

Speaking off the record to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker when it was pointed out that contractors do not decide on materials and confronted with a list of requested savings sent to contractors in July 2014 - which detailed potential cutbacks of £693,161 and reducing the cost of the contract from £9.2 million nicker to £8.5 million – including the £293,368 to be saved by fitting 'aluminium cladding in lieu of the more expensive zinc type with a fire-retardant core - Councillor Ron Smarmy fell victim to a prang of guilty conscience, and in a pathetic attempt at self-preservation snitched up yet another shifty Masonic secret handshake club deal.

'I'm not gettin' pilloried or goin' ter jail fer this cluster fuck – cos the cabinet decided ter quote the Nasty Party government's 'Austerity First' policy ter the cosmetic titification work by Crap.Clad Builders - cos if we'd gone wiv the more expensive stuff an' this overpriced sprinkler system the residents woz demandin' then that would 'ave impacted on the in-hand budget balance an' knocked an effin' big hole in our annual performance bonuses.'

Thought for the day.
The gospel according to Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea Council leader, Nickerless Paget Brownshirt – just prior to receiving a 'You're Fired' text from Downing Street: 'The Kensington and Chelsea Tenant Management Organisation oversee 18 tower blocks in the borough - all of which are over 10 storeys high and haven't so far been gutted by fires – plus they all have up-to-date fire safety risk assessments and none of these afore-mentioned blocks have yet been fitted with gentrification-friendly inflammable cladding.'

Hmmm, wonder who did these fire safety risk assessments – the same Carl Stokes consultant whose assessment of Grenfell Tower prompted Kensington and Chelsea Tenant Management Organisation to act in a criminal manner and hide the dangerous failings report from both residents and the London Fire Brigade?

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness. An anti-authoritarian counter-culture alternative opinion blog and free radical alternative media source 'not owned' by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist ZioNazi Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence – (unless one has the audacity to dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU(Paedophile Protection Unit ) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Nottingham's Nasty Paedo Club or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).

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