Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Trump & Kim Face Off in Twitter Wars

In today’s ‘Four Horsemen / Armageddon' exposé counter-culture edition we bring you the latest and greatest in war-mongering hot gossip from our frontline armed conflict correspondent, Sum Dum Fuk, manning the live news cellphone hotline from a foxhole on the 38th Parallel (north) for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial

In a landmark test of a Dingdong-14 ICBM missile, overseen by North Korea's batshit bonkers 16-year old leader, Kim Jong-un - who personally lit the rocket fuse at the Panghyon launch site - NorKor's nuclear-armed military hierarchy has claimed the realisation of a decades-long ambition – the development of an intercontinental ballistic missile that can 'almost' strike any target on the Earth.

NorKor Defence Minister, Fuk Yew Tu, joined with General Pak Lunch in a press conference to announce the success of the Dingdong-14 rocket test, and while confirming it was not armed with a nuclear device did admit the missile had been fitted with an equivalent volume / weight ration inert Kimchi 5 chemical warhead.

The news was later relayed in spectacular 'Read This, Tremble and Obey' imperial fashion during a special broadcast on Korean Central Television yesterday, with state propaganda department chief, Ms Sue Doku, applying rocket science terminology to describe the missile's capabilities: "Very super fast an' will make very big, big bang when it lands on top of Washington's imperialist hooligan White House an' makes very big mess of President Donald Chimp's hair an' his orange suntan."

Conversely the NorKor's test appeared to be its most successful yet as it actually got off the ground, achieved an altitude arc of 2,802km (1,731 miles) and flew 933km for 39 minutes before slamming into a pre-determined ocean target on the northern boundary of Japan's Exclusive Economic Zone - killing several unemployed wind surfers and a school of fish.

The fact the Dingdong-14 ICBM reached an altitude that greatly exceeded the 2,500 kilometres altitude ceiling, prompted the Pentagon general staff to shit kittens – with USAF arms control specialist Billy Bob Dorkberger going into hysterics mode, announcing on Twitter:
"That's it. It's an ICBM. An ICBM that can hit Dutch Harbour or Anchorage – or Seattle."

Now ain't that a fact to make the belligerent Yanks think twice with their imperialist global bully boy threats towards Third World dumps like North Korea – now Nutty Kim has the option to take no more neo-con shit and holds the means to fight back.

Their very own nuclear armed intercontinental missile that can – or rather might – have the ability to wreak havoc on the good ole US of A's West Coast.

Seattle perhaps – and take out NWO eugenicist 'Bent Billy' Gates and his Microslop Empire's HQ – an act of foreign aggression that mayhap will be excused and condoned by Apple Mac aficionados – and the legions of disgruntled MS users who were suckered into downloading the not-fit-for-purpose Windows 10 shitware programme.

A couple of degrees down from the 38th parallel, South Korean President Fuk Mee convened an emergency national security council meeting in their Seoul-based Deep Six nuclear survival bunker after his military intelligence team concluded the Dingdong-14 rocket had both ICBM and orbital potentials and atomic warhead capability – with General Flip Flop Fong belaying the speculative bluster of gutter press media hacks by disclosing the obvious.
"What you stupid hacks think, ha? That if Crazy Kim's missile can reach the west shore of the Great Satan that it can't reach us here? If he decide to fire that at Seoul, then stick your head between your legs an' kiss you ass goodbye cos this over-rated Yankee THADD anti-missile system that's been forced on us won't stop shit."

The first to lodge vehement protests, demanding the Security Council take military action and launch sanctions against Bonkers Kim was the Great Satan's UN (read Israel's) ambassador, Tricky Nikki Haley (real name Dimrat Randywallah) – spouting a threadbare stock n trade black propaganda line that the NorKor regime was a threat to the peace of the known Universe.

Hmmm, in her brief tenure as UN Ambassador, Haley proves herself yet again to be a cunt – in cunt's clothing – by following dutifully in the villainous footsteps of her heinous predecessors - Madeleine Allshite, Colon Powell and Sleazy Samantha Power – demonstrating the required empathy-deficient qualifications and character traits for the job: pro-Zionist Israeli ass-licking apologist, a venal liar and a rabid warmonger.

Then to top off the trials and tribulations of the day, Israel's Ashkenazi Slime Minister, Bobo Nuttyahoo, made a media announcement that North Korea – a supporter of the Palestinian BDS campaign - was in league with Iran to destroy the Zionist state and urged his brown-nosing neo-con stooges in the US Senate and Congress (Lindsey Graham, Dianne Fiendstein, John Boy McCain n Paul Ryan) to push President Chump (actually their pro-Zionist shill / neo-con White House buddies – the actual 'Trump Whisperers' - Jared Kushner, HR McMaster and Mad Dawg Mattis) for a pre-emptive military response to take out Kim Jong-un's nuclear and missile capabilities.

Not one to calm troubled waters, Agent Orange – aka US President Donald 'U-Turn' Trumpsky jumped straight on the bandwagon with his Samsung 7 handheld terrible tweet machine – ramping up the belligerent rhetoric and twittering to all and sundry who had nowt better to do than read his shit.

"God-damn the NorKor's – and this Kim Mah Jong character - they wanna watch out what I'm gonna post on the Twitter network next. Has this Fatty Kim guy got nothing better to do with his life than getting bad haircuts, watching Russian B movies and launching half-arsed Scrapheap Challenge missiles into the Pacific – trying to scare ME?”

"If China don't reel this schmuck in then it might come down to the good ole US of A bombing the shit out of both Beijing and Pyongyang – once me and my Israel pals have gotten through with Syria – and Lebanon - and Qatar – and Iran. Then we'll be back to finish for good what the Pentagon guys reckon we should have done back in 1953."

Conversely the Chump's Twitter posts, in response to the latest missile test, have set alarm bells a'ringing amongst self-purported NorKor 'experts'.
Former Hilarious Rodent Clinton State Department gopher, Laura Rosenberger, opined to one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that: "Picking a twitter fight with a nuclear-armed dictator is not wise – Donald Chump isn't hosting a reality TV show anymore, and baiting Crazy Kim is playing with fire - nuclear fire. This senile wanker is going to get us into a war with his stupid tweets. You all should have voted for Hillary."

Well, at the end of the day we have two IQ-deficient 'world leaders' (sic) short on strategic patience and engaging in a pointless schoolyard squabble – a pissing contest between this pair of narcissistic, spoiled brat megalomaniacs – with both badly in need of a swift smack round the back of the head and a foot up their arse.

Basically its all comes down to one-upmanship – whose got the worst haircut – and that's a hard topic to decide.
Yet if one-upmanship is to be counted, then Bonkers Kim has defied the odds and thumbed NorKor's nose at the world with a single missile launch.
His long expressed desire for such an auspicious and technically rewarding test - and to have it on the Great Satan's 4th July 'Independence Day' vacation - is just the icing on the proverbial cake.

Thought for the day.
Bit of a bugger for bad haircut Kim having to come to terms with the hypocrisy of the thermo-nuclear-armed / ICBM-equipped cabal: the US of A, Broken Britain, France, China, Russia, Israel, India, Pakiland et al - telling his little backwater dump of a country that he can't have the same military capabilities and weapons of mass distraction that they possess - in defiance of overkill logic and progressive peaceful disarmament.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration.
Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, political ponces, perjurious Oxford college principals, bent money-laundering Glassie lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Muslim migrant refugee 'Junior Jihadi' sprogs – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etcetera, et al – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Conversely, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Pegasus / Echelon / X-Keyscore / Evident / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced by our act of disrespect for political correctness.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness. An anti-authoritarian counter-culture alternative opinion blog and free radical alternative media source 'not owned' by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist ZioNazi Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU (Paedophile Protection Unit ) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Nottingham's Nasty Paedo Club or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).

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