Wednesday 14 March 2018

Bollocks to Bercow

In today's Let's Kick Some Establishment Ass 'nasty twat' exposé edition we bring our readership the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering counter-culture hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

House of Conmans 'Bully-in-Chief' Speaker, John 'Shortarse' Bercow, is facing a frenzy of renewed calls to resign following the release of media reports he has a 'Bollocks to Brexit' sticker emblazoned on his car.
Pix snapped by radical gutter press hacks show the offensive Remainiac logo pasted on the inside of the windscreen on his personalised (taxpayer-funded) registration plate (CUNT 1) 4x4 SUV.

Bercow, the diminutive, mental midget MP for Lilliput, who admitted to voting Remain during the 2016 EUSSR referendum, has been accused of surpassing his customary level of unqualified, brass-necked arrogance over the anti-Brexit message stamped on his car, which was spotted in his private Parliament parking space by a bolshie group of cross party shit stirrers on Tuesday afternoon and reported to left wing media activists.

Whether or not Mr 'Grace & Favour' Bercow's IQ-deficient slag of a wife, Sordid Sally, also has use of the vehicle remains unconfirmed due the Speaker's office trolls keeping shtum on the matter, claiming denial was the best line of defence and refusing to comment on the outrageous sticker lest they fall foul of one of Bercow's 'hell hath no fury ...' temper tantrums.

Tory MP Andrew Bellend lashed out at the expense-fiddling Bercow for breaching his Speaker role of impartiality as he repeatedly reiterated support for Broken Britain to remain a 'compliant chattel' member of the EUSSR – opining to one press hack from the Traitor's Gazette that: "... the Speaker has never made any attempt to hide his corrupt, Brussels stooge personal views on what a mistake the Brexit vote was.”

Bellend’s Tory backbench colleague, James Dunceridge MP, also lashed out at the diminutive Bercow's purported breach of duty, stating it is “unthinkable that the Speaker should continue mediating Brexit debates while spontaneously attempting to blatantly derail discussions and can no longer act as an independent arbitrator in debates on such a crucial subject.”

Bellend and Dunceridge issued a statement on Monday that they would jointly put down an early day motion (EDM) expressing no confidence in Bercow to continue in his role as House Speaker.

Bercow's latest moronic fubar comes in the wake of facing calls to resign after he insisted on chairing a debate over a staff intimidation and bullying row involving egocentric MP's - who think they have some divine right to treat lesser mortals like shit - despite facing similar thuggish misconduct allegations filed against himself.

Viz this issue, the House of Conmans Leader, Andrea Deadweight, has ordered an independent inquiry into following a veritable shit storm of complaints from female clerks assigned to politicians that an entrenched culture of fear is rife within the once-hallowed halls of Westmonster – with Tory MP for the Wrekin-Crew constituency, Marky Mark Prickhard - and Labour MP Paul Foulmouth – in the firing line sights for a jolly good wrist-slapping by their respective party whips.

One Parliamentary staffer, who spoke to the Daily Shitraker on conditions of anonymity, (Mrs Candida Mingerot) claims she left her job as secretary to the unctuous Bercow due suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from his daily haranguing and abuse.
"He's a right nasty piece of work – a poison dwarf – and yet another frog who dreams of becoming a toad. And his bottle 'blonde moment' bimbo of a missus, Piranha Teeth Sally, is no better either."

So the public funds squandering Bercow, a narcissistic twat to his very core, is once again mired in controversy – this time not due the fault of his shit-for-brains wife, but of his own manufacture.
Alas, 'tis always a problem with political wankers, when ego surpasses intellect.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect'.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane orthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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